Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad.

“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.” -Jim Valvano

Happy birthday, Daddy Low! ♥

I remember I used to think, when I was pretty young, why my daddy was years older than others' daddies, and at times, felt quite ashamed. I looked at others' daddies and went, "Wow they are so fit!" and looked at my daddy and said, "Hey you're so fat."

When I was three and Sherman was born, I was terribly mad with him (and Mummy) for the minimal amount of time we spent together because Sherman was in the ICU ward and I didn't understand how serious situations were. When I was five and burnt myself with the iron, Daddy Low was the one who applied the whatever-cream-it-was on my arm, and I was so angry with him for the pain. When I was eleven, I was rude to him and in return, got a cane scar below my left thigh and I really hated him for that scar (that is still there today).

Some years down the road, Daddy Low started cycling me to school. When I was of legal age of P4-5, he started sending me to school on the motorcycle. And having tonnes of tuition classes when I was young, Daddy Low sent me everywhere in spite of his busy schedule and all; most of the times on his old and worn-out motorcycle, unless it rains. So as time flies, I got used to his back view and it sort of gave me this very special protective feeling. I always love holding on to his baggy shirt and closing my eyes to rest and I know nothing would go wrong because that's Daddy Low in front of me. Till today, Daddy Low's still sending me everywhere. And Daddy's a really great and experienced motorcyclist; and his hair's almost gone in the middle because of the helmet.

Daddy Low's always been the strict discipline master at home, making sure that we really behave ourselves. But contradictory; he's also the man who always go against Mummy Low when we want to eat out.

I know this may be the thousandth and one time I'm saying this but: Daddy Low, I love you more than I ever put to words or expressed. Thank you for being the best daddy who always is there. ♥

Edit: Happy 16th wedding anniversary, Daddy and Mummy Low! I love you both, thank you for the past fifteen years and many more to come. ♥

郭美美 - 回家真好







Nah maybe won't update just yet.

After this weekends perhaps.

Define: Promise.

Tough, no?

Anyway, today, 28th August 2008, I turn 15 years and 3 months old.

Will update tomorrow, maybe.

Band chalet! :) Great on the whole; though at times I felt really nonsense. -_- This post's gonna be short cause I've a whole long list of things to do.

1st night: Pretty fun; with supermarket shopping and watching them bowl although I was kind of pathetic and poor. :O Laughing with Dilys and Teresa (especially) over some stupid actions was HILARIOUS HAHAHA! Tried to stay awake watching Spirited Away but apparently I failed!

2nd day: Did Maths and Chemistry homework with some others. Games were really screwed; but preparing food was quite interesting.

2nd night: BBQ was good (I think)! Wow we started the fire really quickly and that's amazing lol! Yay people said the chicken wings were nice! Ate really little; heh I think I drank more than I ate but I was full! Arcade was fun, especially DDR!!! Mugged Maths with Teresa, along with Dilys and Wei Jie homeworking/studyng too, at 1+ 2am.

3rd day: Home sweet home and I smell so full of BBQ heh but stomach's not exactly feeling good but it's ok! :)

Yeah first time staying up to (watch people) bowl and arcade and MUG AT CHALET LOL.

Ok 2-3 days of fun and laughter; now it's back to reality and all. I seriously don't anticipate Week10 although it's exactly a week to Daddy's birthday! Yeah, one week will fly past!!

Yup today was an utterly bad day; from the moment I stepped into school and till the end.

Started the day off really really really badly; thought lessons would get better. But film just totally ruined it. And cool let's look at my timetable from tomorrow onwards.

Friday-Sunday: Band chalet
Sunday: Rush homework and revision, especially film editting
Monday: Film due
Tuesday: MEP test (harmonisation), MEP essay portfolio due
Wednesday: Piano and vocals lessons resume
Thursday: Maths test (logarithms), Biology test (circulatory, respiration)
Friday: Teacher's Day

History test's not included cause I don't know when it is. There's gonna be make-up classes during the holidays and we need to present our Biology mini assignment which is totally zero now. Macbeth creative assignment's due Term4 Week1. Yeah and there's going to be Maths test (trigonometry 1, modulus functions) and Chemistry test (mole concept) and MEP EOY Written. Week2-3's MEP EOY Practical and Week4 EOYs officially start.

What a smart girl with an extremely bright future! :D

Anyway Mr Yeo gave us (EXCO 0809) this photocopied material from a book (I think) and one paragraph reads:

Friendship Is the Shelter Against Sudden Storms: If you're having a bad day, who can make you feel better? A friend. When you have to face your fears, who would you rather do it with? A friend. When you fall on your face, who can help pick you up? A friend. Aristotle was right when he said, "True friends are a sure refuge." -The 360° Leader


Tomorrow's band chalet;
7 to my 15 years 3 months;
8 to Teacher's Day;
9 to holiday? Nah.

Yes XT is very very very sad/tired/drained/whatever now. :'( Some things just have to spoil the day right from the start.

-3 to band chalet (!!!)
-9 to my 15 years and 3 months old (wow)
-10 to Teacher's Day



Band chalet's this coming Friday. Meeting with Dilys, Jia Hui, Ru Meng, Kah Min, Jing Jie and Zoe today at Downtown East MacDonald's for chalet. Sighs I'm not looking forward to it at all. :( Chalet-stuff-shopping with Dilys and Ru Meng made me look forward to it a bit...

Found this song on Xiao You's blog. Honestly I have no idea who the singer is nor how the song sounds like but the lyrics looked compatible with how I feel so searched and yeah it sounds nice.

孤单心事 (蓝又时)







The past 4 days of school have been such difficult days to pass, today being the worst.

I remember one month ago I was really happy and touched over 13:47. One month later, today, I need a shoulder to lie on and a hug to cry in. I an missing Joy and Happiness in my life.

Just something random: I was so cold today in the band room that my lips turned dark-purplish-black wooh. :)

Left Hander's Day History

On 13th August 1992 the Club launched International Left-Handers Day, an annual event when left-handers everywhere can celebrate their sinistrality and increase public awareness of the advantages and disadvantages of being left-handed. This event is now celebrated worldwide, and in the U.K. alone there were over 20 regional events to mark the day in 2001- including left-v-right sports matches, a left-handed tea party, pubs using left-handed corkscrews where patrons drank and played pub games with the left hand only, and nationwide "Lefty Zones" where left-handers creativity, adaptability and sporting prowess were celebrated, whilst right-handers were encouraged to try out everyday left-handed objects to see just how awkward it can feel using the wrong equipment!

These events have contributed more than anything else to the general awareness of the difficulties and frustrations left-handers experience in everyday life, and have successfully led to improved product design and greater consideration of our needs by the right-handed majority - although there is still a long way to go!!

Happy Left Hander's Day.

PCCG was funny with the theatre guy with a lot of masks; at least it made me forget about worldly depressions for one whole hour.

During Biology, Mdm Loh asked Xiao Wei, "Are you stressed?" out of nowhere (of unknown reason too) and she's neither here nor there so she asked me. I thought Mdm Loh asked me so I immediately went "Yes". Yes I am very very very. Oh Mdm Loh said, "Teacher's Day is a major event, must do until very zai ok!" Lol...

Honestly I felt so unwanted today haha. :) Ok bye.

My GPA for 2nd Semester will drop like shit woohoo! :D

I like my new melody but Dilys says the first few notes sound like 关怀方式; no it doesn't!!!

Don't read the below unless you're free. It's a tutorial teaching emo kids how to self-inflict injury. :)

1 Walk along the LT classrooms
2 Bang into the bench outside 4D classroom
3 Let your leg sink in the sharp unknown object
4 Continue walking and don't realise the pain
5 Look at it suddenly and "ahhhh!"

1 It doesn't hurt at all
2 No blood was shed in the process
3 It doesn't hurt when you sit cross leg and then stretch
4 When the sharp end of your skirt fold hits it, you enjoy a cool sensation
5 No all the above were just plain opposites

Yay, jiayou all emo kids on self-inflicting injuries!

Anyway, our first meeting cum dinner (without Su Bin)
at Parkway; 10 August 08.

Ok that's all, bye.

I'm so glad there's no school today. Well, I don't look forward to school anymore.

Tonnes to finish.
-HCL jian bao
-Maths logarithms
-Chemistry mole concept
-Teacher's Day briefing stuffs (A LOT)
-Chiong piano

And it hasn't been very efficient till now, well, not when you have a nose that suddenly starts sneezing so much for no reason and makes you drowsy and all.

If your blog has a statcounter, it would definitely reach all-time high.

Stupid nose. >: (

Oh my smiley balloon officially is reduced to nothing. Although it's still smiling, it's just superficial cause I know it's depressed and empty and lonely. :'(

/Edit: Maybe cause I've been too depressed/dejected/disappointed/sad/whatever the past seconds/hours/days/weeks/months, I am an ugly pimple face now. Okay maybe I always have been but now I suppose it's really bad. :'(

Committee meeting was kind of draining and there's lots of things to settle. X_X

EXCO dinner after that with Mr Yeo. All were there except Su Bin. Cool attendance. Had fun laughing and all; thank you for making me leave behind this tinge of sadness momentarily; but the moment I reached home and switched on the computer I'm back to the usual mode but whatever. Swensen's servings' small and expensive and blah, but the baked rice was not too bad. Lol, wanted spaghetti but ordered baked rice for some special memorable purposes. Meeting after that was cool; our first ever meeting. Hmm, there's so many ideas and stuffs and I'm pretty tired with Teacher's Day so a big apology if I won't be so dynamic until Teacher's Day's over. Oh we took a photo; shall post it when I get hold of it.

Before dinner was with Mr Yeo at Borders where he recommended some inspirational books and "Tuesdays with Morrie" was lying right in front of me. Among the many he recommended, there was "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch and one of the chapters was titled: A Bad Apology is Worse Than No Apology. The man who said, "Brick walls are there for a reason."

Goodbye my favourite smiley balloon, I'll remember how happy you made me 3 weeks ago. Happy 3 weeks old.

I've been dreaming a lot these few days; both happy and sad things. School for the next few weeks' gonna be great. I shall grab more sleep these few days before I start to bunk in at unearthly hours soon.

Ok good night.

20th July 2008:

10th August 2008:

My smiley balloon's exactly 3 weeks old. It was still round and nice and big yesterday. I don't know what happened but it suddenly became this deflated this morning when I woke up. Maybe it's because happiness has left me. And it's so dirty; maybe it's because it's owner has dropped into a pit hole deep and full of shit. Oh well.

A birthday gift from somebody special two years ago (2006).

It reads: Let's be Friends.

Teacher's Day committee meeting at 4.30pm afterwards, followed by EXCO 0809 dinner, both at Parkway.

I want to go into forever hibernation.


<3 looks ugly to me now.

主题曲 (林宇中)
I think you've misunderstood me.
回忆的声音 Stepping out of your life.
播在眼里 By that, I meant erasing me from your life,
像是一首旋律 Not you from mine.
多么美丽 If you really think I'd be happier,
And would smile more,
那时我很肯定 Then you're absolutely wrong.
你是我唯一 Be a happy girl though,
眨个眼我们就各分东西 You've got way too many reasons to be.
People love you and can show you much more love more than I can.
却有些甜蜜 At least, photos with them portray a happier you.
让伤心被允许 Blog posts with them sound much happier.
From today onwards,
说过的话语 I wouldn't believe in a best friend anymore.
做过的事情 I'd probably not have good friends too.
像歌曲 陪我每个冬季 The once good friends may just be the ones closer.
纪念着我和你相爱的主题 Indifference is the worst form of negative emotions.
Because then, you wouldn't show sadness, anger, frustration or whatever.
时间早已忘记 I'm still keeping this wall surrounding me intact.
分手时候的无情 It's the only way I remain indifferent.
你给的美好回忆 Tear away the collage; it's nothing already.
让我有怀念的勇气 If you ever still have the chao ren, dump it or something.
Erase me from your life totally.
A Place in My Heart (Sean Wong) From beginning till the end,
You'll always have a place in my everything.
You will always have a place in my heart Without you as the spark,
You will always be the spark I'll just remain indifferent, that's all.


I give up.

Movie Marathon was pretty good.
I wasn't feeling exactly good actually, but it's okay.
Train ride with Bin Bin and Chelsia was funny. They started calling me "gangster" too. Met Wei Jie, Liang Wei and Egan (!!!) at Ghim Moh and Liang Wei started calling me "nooblet".
I thought somebody was you but it was just plain stupid self-dellusion.
Briefings and stuffs. Egan was hilarious! He studied LA by reading a pokemon book. He studied Maths by counting the number of evolutions. He studied Biology and Chemistry together from the evolutions. He studied HCL by saying "qu4 diao4", etc. :) Cleared up the LT classroom (4C) and tested out the discs. Tiring. My kneecap was bad like asdfghjkl.
Throughout my shift I was picturing what it would be like if you were there.
Screening started; our shift at 4C screened "The Day After Tomorrow" and "Death Note 2". Not bad, I only got a little conked out during the second half of the second disc of Death Note 2. Thank you to those who initiated the Macdonald's dinner; I was starving.
I've finally realised how much your current classmates mean to you.
Changed shift so went to LT2 to catch "Home Alone 3" with Bin Bin and Chelsia. It was TOTALLY HILARIOUS. It made an indifferent Xin Tian laughed like nobody's business. Well, at least it made me happy for quite a while.
And also, how much happiness they can bring to you.
Changed over to LT classroom (4E) for "The Leap Years". Not as interesting as "Home Alone 3" cause it didn't make me laugh. It made me sad. Nevertheless, I love this line: "It's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." 29th February is special; and it was exceptionally special this year.
I'm sorry that I can't no matter how hard I try.
Back to LT2 for Kungfu Dunk. Totally conked out even before they started screening. It was 4+ 5+ already I think.
So from this moment on, I'm going to step out of your life for good.
Had to pack up after that I think. Yup. Did my usual forte; shifting of chairs and tables. Nothing much.
Thank you for having once stepped into my life.
Home was with Bin Bin, Chelsia and Liang Wei. Slept the whole journey home on the floor of the train.
Other than official work stuff, I won't interfere into your life anymore.
What a special Movie Marathon 2008.
Busy weekend ahead, bye! Anyway, Happy National Day!

Cross country today. Mediacorp Artiste Benjamin Heng came for sing along session. Was on stage with exco 0708 as well as 0809 and Senior High people. Was so near him; he smelt good. On the way back home, I slept and dreamt. Movie marathon afterwards. The thought of disappointments make me dread it. I am cheating myself, believing that somebody will turn up.
Do you know how dejected I feel..?
I am like a pen. A pen that is not refillable and has run out of ink so it's useless. I am like a pencil. A pencil whose lead is so fragile and always breaking until there's no more lead left. I am like a pair of scissors. A pair that's blades turn blunt so quickly and easily. I am like the ozone layer. A layer that is constantly depleting.
Do you know how much courage I needed and how long I took to pick up..?
Movie marathon's gonna be really special.
Movie marathon's like that.
(A Place in My Heart - Sean Wong)
You will always have a place in my heart
You will always be the spark
Every smile we share every tear we've shed
There's nothing we can't overcome
Going home together was like that.
You will always have a place in my heart
You will always be the spark
If I'm lost and weary I'm not worried
I know You will always be there with open arms
Study dates are like that.
(我们的纪念日 - 范玮琪)
There's a reason why I hate common recesses and lunches.
(关怀方式 - 陈汉玮,蔡礼莲)
Definition: A person whom one does not know.
Define: Showing no care or concern in attitude or action.
I am indifferent. :) It's the worse form of negative emotions.

Dilys said something today, "Friends are like aeroplanes." And if you don't know, the following statement is, "They come and go." Saw something similar on Wei Jie's flickr album before.

Can't believe Movie Marathon's tomorrow. It's... so special.

Definition of disappointed on the web:
Defeated of expectation or hope; let down

Definitions of dejected on the web:
Sad and dispirited

Definitions of depressed on the web:
Severely despondent and unhappy

3 more days my smiley balloon from the Year4s on 20th July (Esplanade Konzert XV) would be 3 weeks old.

3 more weeks I would be 15 years and 3 months old.

Dejected = Depressed + Rejected.

I'm never going to try ever again; it only leaves me to go to bed in tears every single time. 5 August 2008 proved that trying doesn't work for so many times, thank you for killing all the courage gathered to try.


Just felt like updating.

Handover; had this tinge of oh-no-please-don't feeling when EXCO 07/08 took off their tie pins all at once. :'( Emcee-ing was quite smooth I guess; other than all the nonsensical technical problems as usual.

Elie Wiesel:
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference.
And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.
(Oct. 1986)

Yup it's a feeling of indifference. I don't even feel like smiling. When I smile I feel funny and weird and wrong. It's this sense of "Oh, hi" feeling when you get negative results in some things and it robs genuine laughter. I need to :D urgently. I need to get rid of the wall in my heart. But I think the interpersonal wall will be there, for good maybe. I need to kick away the feeling of indifference.

I'm starting to believe in you forgetting.
I'm starting to believe in you never seeing.
I'm starting to believe in you not knowing.

What's worse, I'm starting to believe in substitutions.

Then again, forever meets no end. And, love wins, love always wins. But for now, indifference engulfed everything.

If the above post other than the first 2 paragraphs made no sense to you, that's good. :)

School was pretty okay. I realise I'm updating more often in this space already; maybe because I like the skin. :) Logarithms (Maths) and Mole Concept (Chemistry) are tentatively okay. Band was okay too in my opinion, think so. I am not as enthusiastic anymore; I pack my instrument straight after we thank conductor and all. :(

From an email a long long time ago.

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You'll have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Aha but I think I shall, like many, not have any best friend.

Definition of best friend:
Someone considered to be one's closest companion
Source: Wiktionary

Some people today made me realise how deep my emotions are and probably will never change. And in one of the oractorial competitions today, some contestant said, "Hate is a strong word." and I looked at Dilys and she looked at me too, at the same time haha, telepathy? Interesting. Nah maybe not; cause I used to say "Cannot hate, hate is a very strong word; use dislike!" a lot last time, but I've stopped saying that since some time ago and "hate" replaced "dislike". I'm so evil. :O

Move Marathon's gonna be...special.

Forever...meets no end.

Conclusion: This post makes not much sense and it looks long.

"The best part of life is when your family becomes your friends, and your friends become your family." -Danica Whitfield

Maternal family dinner was fabulous! Although only 4 out of 7 families turned up, still really enjoyed myself. Anyway the table was only big enough to fit us all, okay that's quite small hehe. My maternal family's big. :) We had a whale of time finding the place cause it's right in the middle of a gigantic garden with many detoured routes. And we chatted so much a cup of barley drink's not enough. :)

Xingqi called me halfway through dinner to ask me if I've waited long enough (to know my post). Yup so I am Internal Affairs HOD.

Oh I cut my hair today! So much lighter.

School shall be fun tomorrow.

Movie marathon; am gonna be on duty. Suppose it'll be fun!

OK If you didn't read the top and all, point is: I love my family. ♥

"Sometimes in life, you find a special friend. Someone who changes your life just by being a part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop. Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it. This is forever friendship. When you're down and the world seems dark and empty, your forever friend lifts you up in spirit and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem bright and full. Your forever friend gets you through the hard times, the sad times and the confused times. If you turn and walk away, your forever friend follows. If you lose your way, your forever friend guides you and cheers you on. Your forever friend holds your hand and tells you that everything is going to be okay. And if you find such a friend, you feel happy and complete because you need not worry. You have a forever friend, and forever has no end." -Unknown

"Have I told you about the tension of opposites?" he says.

The tension of opposites?

"Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.

"A tension of opposites, likes a pull on the rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle."

Sounds like a wrestling match, I say.

"A wrestling match." He laughs. "Yes, you could describe life that way."

So which side wins, I ask?

"Which side wins?"

He smilse at me, the crinkled eye, the crooked teeth.

"Love wins. Love always wins."

-Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)

Yeah, love always wins. :)

"I'll always be beside you until the very end, wiping all your tears away, being your best friend. I'll smile when you smile and feel all the pain you do, and if you cry a single tear, I promise I'll cry too."
Thank you for stepping into my life.

"To be honest with you, I don't have the words to make you feel better, but I do have the arms to give you a hug, ears to listen to whatever you want to talk about, and I have a heart; a heart that's aching to see you smile again."

"To love someone is nothing. To be loved by someone is something. To love and be loved by someone is everything."

"Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile, and finds in your presence that life is worthwhile. So, when you are lonely remember it's true: somebody, somewhere is thinking of you."

"Take a look at what you have. Think of all you did to get it. Remember it only takes one second to lose."

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back."

"You were my strength when I was weak, you were my voice when I couldn't speak, you were my eyes when I couldn't see; you saw the best there was in me." -Celine Dion

Quotes are always so cliche; but only at times comforting yet untrue. :)

Finally Friday.

Think I screwed up those two tests today but whatever. Interview turned out less tensed than expected. Band wasn't really good though. Going home was asdfghjkl although sometimes Dilys really comments on kuku things that made me smile instantly.

Life is so interesting. Sometimes when you think things are going well, it just goes otherwise suddenly. But when you think all hope is lost and gone, some things go so well it's unbelievable. Yet, this goes on; so, good or bad..?

Just randomly typed in "life quotes" on the net and found two interesting quotes.

“Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”
But I realise I haven't laughed with true happiness for a really long time.
And this.

“It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.”
Yup, I love you Friend.
光良 - 双子星

This is really how much you mean.
And I really hope things are like this.
我们面对面 挂在天边
你和我之间 只能相连
两颗心 有一样的信念
Do we..?
我们面对面 挂在天边
我许的心愿 早已实现
And, can we..?

I miss Brisbane. I need to cry; yup. Big fat crybaby HA HA HA!!! :D